Although 2018 turned out to be a pretty good year for good movies, it turned out to be a pretty darn good year for bad movies, too! 2018 will be known as the year of the poorly done thriller, with that film genre dominating a whopping half of our ten spots on the list. Oh thrillers, how you disappoint us so!
#10 The Nun
This little gem has the distinction of being the only horror flick to make this year’s naughty list. This prequel to The Conjuring 2, created to explain how that story’s creepy nun came to be, bears no resemblance to James Wan’s well done Conjuring films. Instead, TheNun showcases a scare-free, garbage script squandered on an awesomely creepy setting at a monastery in Romania.
The fifth time is definitely NOT the charm in this latest installment in the long-running JurassicPark franchise. Following a well-done, action-packed first half hour, the story devolves into some insipid mumbo-jumbo about evil scientists genetically re-engineering dinosaurs into military killing machines. Not only does it feel like it was written by a third grader, but it is boring – really boring. Seriously, how DO you make a boring dinosaur movie?
Oscar winner Natalie Portman stars in this super strange drama about a young girl who becomes a pop star as a result of a horrific school shooting. The terrifying shooting sequence is the only noteworthy part of this ill-constructed, confusing story, which felt both unfinished and weird for the sake of being weird. Yes, we get the point – American culture has become tacky and gross – but so is this film.
Claire Foy (The Crown) trades in her tiara for a padded cell in this UNthrilling psychological thriller from Steven Soderbergh about a depressed woman who checks herself into a psychiatric facility, only to wonder if one of its employees just might be the crazed lunatic who’s been stalking her. Ya think? UNscary. UNinteresting.
Liam Neeson reunites with Non-Stop director Jaume Collet-Serra in this almost-identical only dumber, blatant cash grab of a thriller (this time set on a commuter train instead of a plane), with our mumbly-voiced hero again falsely accused of planting a bomb on said train as he hunts down the actual, unidentified culprit(s). Sound familiar?
Gabrielle Union stars in this moronic thriller about a feisty mother trying to rescue her kids from kidnappers holding them hostage inside her late father’s high-tech house located deep in the woods. It is annoyingly bad. You will root for the kidnappers. And you will be disappointed.
This is little more than Tyler Perry rehashing his 2005 film debut, Diary of a Mad Black Woman, with the normally hilarious Tiffany Haddish (Girls Trip) as a more crass, more tasteless variation of the Madea character. What’s worse is that this dour melodrama was falsely advertised as a comedy – the laughs grind to a halt at the 30 minute mark.
Clint Eastwood’s prior directorial glory picks up a bit of tarnish thanks to this feebly-told true story about the three Americans, who in 2015, foiled an attempted terrorist attack on a train from Amsterdam to Paris. Eastwood’s gimmick, having the actual heroes play themselves, backfired badly. He’d have been much better off luring Liam Neeson away from The Commuter and spending money on a good screenplay.
This action-adventure crime thriller, about crooks robbing a treasury building on the Alabama Gulf Coast during the largest hurricane in recorded history, not only is our worst movie of 2018 – it was one of 2018’s biggest financial flops – earning only $6 million at the box office. (It cost an estimated $45 million to make.) And never mind that Alabama’s Treasury building is nowhere near the coast nor is the film’s setting, the town of Gulfport, actually in Alabama. With profoundly moronic dialogue and a plot devoid of simple logic, this terrible movie had way more to worry about than its geographical challenges. And no, it isn’t so bad that it’s good.